Thursday, May 21, 2009

things i'll never understand. part 73.

I got yelled at by a gay rabbi today.

Okay, he never actually said he was a gay rabbi-but before turning to the cloth he was a composer for the philharmonic and his patent shoes and coordinating yamaca and Ralph Lauren shirt said more to me than the words 'I'm a gay rabbi' ever could. Throughout the lecture he kept making pop culture and style references, frequently adjusted his many accessories and reached vocal octaves I thought only Adam Lambert* was capable of. The ambiguously gay rabbi later compared a religious experience to 'coming out.' game, set, match.

Side note: I wrote this musing on the back of my course reader during class. The boy sitting next to me (someone I've never spoken to before) caught wind of the phrase 'ambiguously gay rabbi' and started laughing uncontrollably. When we were talking about Israel. One of these things is definitely not like the other.

*American Idol contestant with equally questionable sexual orientation. I covet his bangs. And how he's managed to perfect the sultry smoky eye. 

6 comments:

  1. One of the ingredients for the sultry smoky eye: MAC Knight Divine.

    ReplyDelete
  2. child's play. the money's at black tied :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. the glitter in black tied always makes my eyes water, which kind of ruins the sultry effect, so i like carbon for now. also, i think i'm going to actually cut all of my hair off, soonish.

    ReplyDelete
  4. also, i wonder what mac black adam lambert uses. he has to use mac, right?

    ReplyDelete
  5. he has to, or some ridiculously crazy stage makeup.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I hate to get all "editor" on you, dear, but it's "yarmulke". Go figure!

    And g-Lambert: Not ambiguous. Not by any stretch of the word. His sultry eye is what Ken Paves' dreams are made of.

    ReplyDelete