weekend rundown.

10 hours in a car.15 girls.1 hotel room.36 hours in las vegas.1 failed bonfire.1 party in a mall parking lot.2 extremely messed up ears.1 trip to the emergency room.7 hours on the phone.1 broken heart.1083874 pieces of my life that need to be put back together.

things i'll never understand. part 73.

I got yelled at by a gay rabbi today.

Okay, he never actually said he was a gay rabbi-but before turning to the cloth he was a composer for the philharmonic and his patent shoes and coordinating yamaca and Ralph Lauren shirt said more to me than the words 'I'm a gay rabbi' ever could. Throughout the lecture he kept making pop culture and style references, frequently adjusted his many accessories and reached vocal octaves I thought only Adam Lambert* was capable of. The ambiguously gay rabbi later compared a religious experience to 'coming out.' game, set, match.

Side note: I wrote this musing on the back of my course reader during class. The boy sitting next to me (someone I've never spoken to before) caught wind of the phrase 'ambiguously gay rabbi' and started laughing uncontrollably. When we were talking about Israel. One of these things is definitely not like the other.

*American Idol contestant with equally questionable sexual orientation. I covet his bangs. And how he's managed to perfect the sultry smoky eye. 

the dream.

Ultimate BBM Contact List:

-David Beckham

-Miley Cyrus

-Barack Obama

...pin me. now. 

things that are soothing

If I'm in need of background noise while working through, say, Walter Benn Michaels' recursive, thicket-like rhetorical flourishes, and can't spare the brainpower for actual television shows, I watch makeup tutorial videos on Youtube. It's awesome. I don't even care that my eye shape makes about 90 percent of these unworkable.

Favorites include Makeupgeek and Lauren Luke.

...seriously, I don't know. Ours is not to reason why.

dresses > pants.

The prodigal cupcake dress has returned, and sharing it amongst best friends is far superior to pants. 

Complete with Blair Waldorf-esque jeweled headband, red lips and patent shoes. Disregard the angle and the surrounding men's feet, I'm not sure I understand that part either. 

playback.

Most played on itunes in the past 72 hours:

DeathCabForCutie-Photobooth

TheKillers-Romeo and Juliet

PostalService-Nothing Better

Emo kid ways ensue. I liked the clothes anyway. 

omfgg.

most.amazing.thing.ever. 

http://whatchuckwore.tumblr.com/ 

manic monday.

Most amazing thing that happened this weekend: learning how to simultaneously wear bright purple and baby blue eyeshadow by way of a f-a-b gay man at the urban decay counter. 

Most amazing thing that happened on Monday: being front row at the Leno taping when the headlining guest is Anderson Cooper.

Most amazing thing that happened in my life: getting a death glare from A Cooper when I was cat calling from the audience. Apparently he doesn't like female attention. 

Antithesis of amazing: hearing Jenny Humphrey explain Twilight on Gossip Girl tonight. Really?

Am increasingly excited for the prodigal return of the gothic cupcake. Hopefully I will bask in velvety cupcake glory. 

monday blahs

Nothing harshes the buzz of a fairly productive weekend of applying for jobs like your mother telling you there's a administrative assistant position open at your family's insurance company-- because there's not much of a chance you'll get anything else. Ugh, what a way to start the week.

Goth cupcake has been boxed and shipped via Priority, so it should be there in a day or two.

rehab.

Things I'm in dire need of:

-Coyote Ugly on DVD
-2 Cartons of Ben and Jerry's Chunky Monkey
-Bedroom with padded walls.

i'd rather have a birkin

I just spent twenty minutes opening a jar so I could eat a gherkin. This is hilarious because:

1. I have never encountered the word "gherkin" outside of the context of Bridget Jones, as in "the thing up Mark Darcy's arse," and

2. I hate pickles.